Tell less and ask more. Your advice is not as good As you think it is. Michael Bungay Stanier
I finished this book in the middle of last year. I haven’t read a lot of books on this topic — but this was the most impactful thus far. It provides you the mindset required to be an effective leader and coach of people. It tackles the issues many managers face — creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed and becoming disconnected.
Top 3 Learnings
Your primary goal as a coach or team lead is to ask great questions, get to the bottom of the real issues at hand, and let your team discover the answers themselves Always dig to the AWE question: ‘And What Else’? This uncovers the real problem the person is having. Don’t jump straight into giving advice, it’s not good as you think it is. Instead figure out what the real problem is. Is it that they can’t figure out ‘X’ or don’t know how to research, understand the methodology, give themselves enough control and confidence, etc. Highlights
The essence of coaching lies in helping others and unlocking their potential. When you build a coaching habit, you can more easily break out of three vicious circles that plague our workplaces: creating over-dependence, getting overwhelmed and becoming disconnected.
Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. It’s putting out the fire or building up the fire or banking the fire. It’s everyday stuff, and it’s important and necessary. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who’s managing the fire.
When people start talking to you about the challenge at hand, what’s essential to remember is that what they’re laying out for you is rarely the actual problem.
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
3 Sides of Any Problem
- The project side—any challenges around the actual content.
- The people side—any issues with team members/colleagues/other departments/bosses/customers/clients
- The Pattern side—if there’s a way that you’re getting in your own way, and not showing up in the best possible way.